


Dream

by theritzcrackers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Childhood Trauma, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Yamaguchi Tadashi's Freckles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24854824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theritzcrackers/pseuds/theritzcrackers
Summary: "Dashi, I'm sorry."- A tsukkiyama fic. Kind of short, but only one part. Constructive criticism is wanted! Thank you for reading/giving this book a chance. It might be sad. I think I did well on that part. But yes it is angst. The ending is happy. In my opinion at least.- Tw: death/coma (These topics aren't too heavily talked about but I still put this here just in case. Your health is important and I'd hate for this book to come across as insensitive. So please comment if anything is wrong so I can change it. I'm not the most knowledgeable about this so please don't hesitate to tell me any concerns.)
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	Dream

Tsukishima Kei loves Yamaguchi Tadashi.

He loves his freckles, which Yamaguchi didn't always understand. They reminded him of stars, chocolate chips, strawberry seeds, polka dots and more. It made him unique and that was one of the many treasures Kei got to experience. 

He loves his laugh, he'd try to hear it every day. Because Tadashi wasn't always happy. And he wanted to help him through that.

He loves his smile, sometimes accompanied with a laugh or too. He would never admit it, though. Only with Tadashi. Because Tadashi was smiling and that was their moment. 

He loves his serve. He could see Tadashi worked hard on it and that was a form of motivation for him too.

He loves everything about Tadashi. Every day, he'd learn something new. And nothing made him happier.

He'd always find a way to think of Tadashi. Even when he wasn't around. 

-

But he was always used to Tadashi coming back home from work. Seeing him again.

And he still visits from time to time. But he doesn't want to see him like this.

He doesn't want to see his freckles at a stand still, dull and lifeless. 

He doesn't want to imagine his laugh. This isn't funny.

He doesn't want to imagine his smile. It's not there.

He doesn't want to see his serve. It's not Tadashi out there at the tournaments. Other people use it too. 

He doesn't want to see Tadashi like this.

-

Tsukishima Kei would do anything to see Yamaguchi Tadashi wake up.

He doesn't want anything else.

Because everything reminds him of Tadashi. He can't forget him. He doesn't want to. 

Everything goes back to this small, confined space.

This is hell.

This is Tsukishima Kei's worst nightmare.

Except he can't wake up from this.

-

"Dashi, I'm sorry." Tsukishima frowned.

"I'm so sorry."

"I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry."

"I should've been more careful. I should've went home when you said to."

"But it's too late now." He whispered.

"..."

"Sakura's going to first grade today." He smiled, bittersweetly.

"I took her to get icecream like we always did."

"I got you vanilla too. Me and Sakura ate it together."

"I'm trying to be strong. For Sakura. I know you'd want her to be happy."

"I swear I'm not too gloomy." He laughed a little, thinking of Tadashi's "angry" face.

Tsukishima checked the time, knowing he'd have to go soon.

"I knew it."

"I'll be back. I love you."

-

Yamaguchi didn't wake up. 

And that hurt many people.

But it was like a stab in the heart to Kei. He didn't feel like Tadashi was gone.

Because he had Sakura. Sakura was an angel entrusted to him and Tadashi. Sakura was his everything.

Everything came crashing down. But he stopped it. And kept it stored away. 

Because Sakura is still there.

-

Tsukishima Kei can't forget Yamaguchi Tadashi. 

"Dad? Is Papa gonna come home soon?" Sakura asked, sitting in Kei's lap.

"Oh, I'm afraid not dear. But I'm still here. For anything you need." He smiled.

"I miss Papa." She cried into Kei's chest.

 _Me too._ Is what he wanted to say. But the words were stuck in his throat. And all he could do was comfort his daughter and hold her close. 

Because he wasn't going to lose her too. 

-

It took time. Months. But eventually people moved on. They got married, pregnancies happened, people adopted children, and they were happy.

They weren't forgetting Tadashi. Not in the slightest. 

But that's not what Tsukishima thought.

And his friends were worried.

They knew he couldn't stay bottled up forever.

So, Sugawara made it his mission to help Tsukishima. Although he couldn't imagine what he was going through.

Eventually, Kei got a better job and sent Sakura to a better school.

Also, Sugawara convinced him to go to a trusted therapist. That was no easy feat.

And although Tsukishima didn't like the idea of "needing help" in his words, he didn't dislike her. She was patient. And she had dinosaur plushies, which he secretly liked.

It felt like things started moving again and he wasn't just holding on to memories. 

He was happy.

-

Tsukishima Kei loves Yamaguchi Tadashi.

He loves his freckles, because he can still remember the way they shined in the sun. They reminded him of stars, chocolate chips, strawberry seeds, polka dots and more. And it made him happy that Tadashi entrusted him to tell him how beautiful they were.

He loves his laugh, because he can hear traces of it through Sakura. And he can make her laugh all the time. Which made him happy too.

He loves his smile, because he remembers how hard it was for him and how he was able to make that happen. 

He loves his serve, because volleyball made him happy and Kei loves it too. Plus, Sakura can play too. He can't wait until she's old enough to join a team. But only if she wants to.

He loves everything about Tadashi. Every day, he'd learn something new. And nothing made him happier.

He'd always find a way to think of Tadashi. Even when he wasn't around. 

And it doesn't hurt as much anymore.

-

"Dad, I'm really happy today!" Sakura yelled.

"What happened?" He asked, turning around.

"I found this picture in the attic! That looks like you, and that looks like Papa!" She jumped, holding the photo out for him to see.

"I told you to stop going in the attic! It's dark and dusty in there, and I haven't cleaned it yet." He frowned.

"I'm sorry." She looked down.

"It's okay. I'm going to clean it today. But can I see the photo?"

Sakura passed to him and waited for his reaction.

"Oh, this is me and Papa. But in high school." 

It was a picture from volleyball practice. He didn't remember it happening at all.

"High school? So that means you're old now if you've passed high school." She laughed.

"I'm not old." He frowned.

Tsukishima walked up to the fridge to hang up the photo.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for school?"

"I knew you would say that, so I already got my stuff packed." She smiled, obviously proud of herself.

"Okay, okay. Let's go then."

-> -> ->

"Bye dad! See you soon!"

"Be safe, okay? Don't wander off on your trip!" He yelled from the car.

"I'll stay safe!" She yelled back, quickly running off to some friends.

Tsukishima continued driving and listening to music on the way home.

It was calm and nice. 

At one point, Tadashi's favorite song came on. That was the only song Kei sang along with.

Sure, he cried a little. But he felt a little closer to Tadashi in that moment.

And nothing else mattered. Not anyone's weird stares from their cars or some old woman's road rage. Not even the traffic that he normally hated. 

That was his favorite song too.

-

_Thank you Tadashi. For everything. I hope you're doing okay._

_I love you._

_I know I shouldn't be thinking this but sometimes I wonder if you would've said "yes" that night. I hope so._

-

♪♬♫ _Fill my heart with song, Let me sing for ever more_  
_You are all I long for, All I worship and adore_  
_In other words, please be true, In other words, in other words_  
_I love you._ ♫♬♪

_\- Fly Me To The Moon_

**Author's Note:**

> Not me making a angsty story early in the morning T-T


End file.
